Friday, September 07, 2007

Dropping away of body

In the early stages of my illness,
when the cancer was just beginning to bloom inside me,
my karate found full, if awkward, expression
in the relatively pain-free movement of my ankles, knees, hips, wrists, elbows and shoulders.

As my ankles began to betray me
and as my knees and my hips followed suit,
I thought,
"Well, I still have my arms."

As my wrists begin to betray me
and as my elbows and shoulders follow suit,
I have come to realize
that all I'll soon have left
is my spirit.

The cancer can't have that.


Anonymous said...

Zen one o one...empty your cup.

karate has helped you so much and spirit -- spiritual is key so you can do your kata/karate in your mind's eye always...which you already do.

I can see how much karate has helped and that is part of your magic that makes you look so much healthier and stronger than you are!


Michael said...

It's a debt I can never repay, except through doing my best.

Mike Cross said...

“One foot in front of the other.” You said it Michael. That is your expression of the truth of keeping going.

“One foot behind the other” might be an equally, if not more, profound expression of the truth of giving up.

I read that Chojun Miyagi, recognizing the importance of stepping backward, emphasized stepping backward in Sanchin Kata.

May you keep going, Michael, and may you keep letting go, one step at a time.

Michael said...

Thank you, Mike. I am proud and grateful to have you as a friend.

~~Silk said...

Spirit is the essence.

Michael said...

Yes, but those are just words. Truly knowing that spirit is the essence and allowing that knowledge to guide you through the dark is sometimes quite difficult when the shit hits the fan, as I am learning to my cost.

YourFireAnt said...

I don't even know you, Michael, and I was hit hard by this post. The raw staring straight in of it, the seeing, the being, the love.


Michael said...

Thanks, FA. Stuff happens quickly, whether we're ready or not.