Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Happy holidays to all of you who mark them!

The Oxycodone pills allowed me to sleep last night, though they leave me a little unsteady on my feet. It was a gift, though, to be relatively pain free.

I left work last night after just two hours, unable to find a comfortable sitting position. In the end, the discomfort in my legs won out.
I was supposed to work today, but I just don't feel up to it.
In calling in sick today, I told my supervisor of my doubts that I'll be able to return to work. He has been incredibly supportive of me during my health struggles, as has everyone at the newspaper, The Record of Hackensack, N.J.
I'm very proud and grateful to have spent nearly nine years of my life at that paper. I have learned much there and have grown immeasurably, personally and professionally. It has been the best job I've ever had, and the people I've worked with have made it thus.
Two of my best friends, who just happen to be Record colleagues, have eased my burden tremendously by offering to do my laundry and hiring someone to clean my apartment.

My family and friends couldn't possibly be doing more for me, and this is so humbling that it's impossible for me to put into words. Any expression of gratitude on my part seems so inadequate.

I'm the first to admit that I can be a very difficult person to deal with. I can be stubborn, sanctimonious, arrogant, unfairly critical and judgmental, hypocritical, and a host of other things. I've alienated people at work and in my personal life because of these traits. But, in spite of that, to still be the recipient of such kindness ...

In a beautiful confluence of circumstances, all this is happening during the holidays. I can't think of anything that embodies the spirit of the season so purely and so well as this soothing stream of support that is washing over me.

11 comments:

Dogo said...

I'm very happy to hear that the pain is at bay, and that you have such good friends.

Thinking of you today.

Michael said...

Thank you, Dogo. Have a wonderful holiday!

Marie Rex said...

I'm glad to hear your pain has been relieved enough to allow you to sleep. Short sleep makes everything harder to bear.

I think it is wonderful that people around you are getting a chance to show you that you are cared about. It is something we all need.

I wish you a restful night.

Anonymous said...

I have returned to follow your journey and I am glad too you have eased some pain and are surrounded by loving actions and support.
You did alienate me but I would never want you to suffer and your photos are beautiful. I loved the one of me at twilight.
Peace and I wish the same for myself Peace
S

Michael said...

And in the spirit of peace, I accept and am thankful for your good wishes.

Tom said...

I think about you all the time these days. In a curious way and inadvertently you are at the center of something I'm doing.

I have no special knowledge, but I'm sure you truly have nothing to worry about. Why would we know about love and kindness and generosity if it wasn't made to be there when we most need it?

Pierre Turlur said...

Dear Michael,

Ok, is it difficult to find a rakusu? I shall take the white silk off one of mine and send it over to you. Or if you prefer I can send you a beautiful new japanese rakusu but I haven't sewn it and it is not in the Nyoho e style. Give me your address if you agree. Please, ask your teacher to perform this ceremony now. I am glad to hear that you experience less pain.

Michael said...

Thank you, Tom.
It's a wonderful feeling to receive this literal and figurative laying on of hands.

Hi Pierre,
Thanks so much for your kind offer. I have a rakusu, but I accept yours in spirit, and I thank you for that. I hope all is well and continues well with you.

Anonymous said...

Thanks and love...
I have my terrible pain right now so you have eased mine a bit.
Thanks, peace and love,
S

melissabalmer said...

I am honored and floored to have found this honest and elegant blog via no impact man. What a treasure it is. Thank you for sharing your truth.

May you be cradled in the strength and kindness of others, and above all be granted pain free sleep!

Michael said...

Thank you, Melissa!