I'm feeling a little down these last couple of days, since learning Monday that my blood calcium level had risen again (from 11.8 to 12.7). Though this increase wasn't unexpected, the implications nonetheless prey on my mind.
The dosage of my oral medication was increased from twice to three times daily, which also wasn't unexpected.
Physically, I feel OK and am continuing with my routine: karate on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, weight training Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Psychologically, the roller coaster ride continues. These alternating periods of depression and elation never last, just as they wouldn't if I were perfectly healthy. They're just a little more intense given what's at stake.
I feel wrapped in a thin film of sadness and foreboding, but I'm leaning toward optimism because I recognize the cyclical nature of these ups and downs.
I haven't heard from my endocrinologist except for her e-mail Monday informing me of my blood test results and suggesting that I have a retest in one to two weeks to see what effect the increase in medication has on the calcium level. I don't know if the Sloan-Kettering surgeon shared with her his assessment of my situation. Nor do I know if she has any more thoughts on the experimental medication that I wrote about in my previous blog post.
The good news is, tomorrow's another day. Better still, it's the weekend and I've got a little cash in my pocket.
The phrase "keep the faith" never meant so much to me as now.