I've been through these consultations before, and each time is like the first time. All the terror and uncertainty come flooding back.
This meeting became necessary after the failure of surgery in August to completely remove the tumor blooming in the fertile ground of the farthest reaches of my chest.
It's very likely that this doctor is going to suggest still another procedure, which would be my fifth surgery in four years. (You can read about my odyssey here.)
I was told that this surgeon has dealt with other cases involving parathyroid cancer in hard-to-reach parts of the body.
This is heartening.
Now the question becomes whether I want to go through another surgery, when each of the previous ones has been unsuccessful.
It's becoming a question of quality of life.
-----
A co-worker and friend of mine is a nut for anagrams. He has a gift for analyzing names and all their possible letter permutations.
Tonight, on a whim, he came up with an anagram for my first and last names: HEALTH MIRACLE.
24 comments:
I think you need to do whatever you feel is best for your quality of life...
you are a miracle, with our without surgury....
Thank you sooo Much, LB.
Hello John,
Thanks for stopping by and for leaving your comments!
Oh dear. That sounds like such a difficult decision, and I wish you all the best as you think it through.
Thank you, An and John, for your comments. I have been at this crossroads before, for better or worse. I know the drill. This, too, shall pass.
Anu, I'm very glad I met you, too. I think you're amazing yourself! And, of course, thanks for your support...
As for the anagram, I just have to clue the doctor in on what the deal is, and let him know he has no choice! :)
Hello Greensleeves,
Thanks so much for your message! I hope I will have encouraging news to share Friday.
Michael, I'll be thinking about you this Friday. You didn't ask for advice, but when I'm dealing with stressful things, I tend to hold my breath. That doesn't help one bit; it sets off a whole chain of physiological/emotional events. (That body/mind connection at work ... did I hear you say "health miracle?" :)) The more awareness of my breathing patterns I can muster, the better. So keep breathing!
Hey Kitty,
Yes, I sometimes find that I, too, hold my breath when under stress. This is especially noticeable during karate class, but now that I'm aware of the problem, I can work on it.
Thanks for thinking of me!
Michael,
I have noticed that when people read my blog or comments I have posted on the Dogen Sangha blog, they tend to think they understand where I am coming from, and, probably out of the best intentions, they offer advice accordingly. I probably tend to do the same kind of thing myself. But you seem to be one who refrains from passing those kind of judgements and handing out advice.
So, taking a leaf from your book, I will just say to you: Thank you, M, for bearing witness.
Michael, I trust your positive attitude will bring miracle to you eventually. I don't have much advice to offer, but just want to let you know that my thoughts are with you. No matter what decision comes out of this consultation, I wish you all the best!
Hi Mike:
Well, I wish I really was that objective. It's certainly something to which I aspire. I think I'm making progress, albeit slow progress. Thank you!
Hi Passion,
Thank you for your good wishes! I'll let everyone know how the consultation goes Friday.
My Dear Beachy,
Thanks, as always, for your concern and your kind words. I hope all is going well with you and yours. A lot of people are pulling for you!
michael: i don't know what to say either. this is a horrible dilemma. a terrifying choice. my thoughts are with you as you decide what to do. it's probably not coming through in this message, but there is a great deal of feeling and empathy behind my words.
Thanks ever so much, Kim. The feeling and empathy shine through, and I appreciate your support!
Michael,
I wish you didn't have to face such difficulties. Best of luck, whatever you decide.
-Jules
Hey Jules,
Thanks, man! I think everything will be OK if I just keep a level head.
Hey g,
Thank you so much. I hope I'll be able to prove that HEALTH MIRACLE anagram correct.
michael: i just wanted to stop by and wish you luck tomorrow. i'll be thinking about you throughout the day. i really, really hope it goes well.
Thanks, Kim! I appreciate the kind words and thoughts...
My thoughts are with you as you head off to the appointment tomorrow...
An anagram for Health Miracle is Healthier Calm....
HEALTH MIRACLE Wonderful. Michael, I hope things go well tommarow.
LB, Lone Wolf,
Many thanks for your kind wishes! LB, I'll have to remember that one!
It's 7:15 a.m. here, and I'll be heading off shortly. I'll keep everyone abreast of how the day goes...
Thanks so much, Anu! Your support means a lot, and I'm very grateful for it.
Trackback. This post is cited in Blogmandu, Roundup for Dec 19 - Jan 14 [Part 1 of 4].
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